Public Address - Radiation (Home)

Eating Out | Nov 27, 2004 14:43

How many complaints do you think the Broadcasting Standards Authority will receive about this week's episode of Eating Media Lunch? A good solid two? Maybe three? On the other hand, I wonder how many phone calls EML and R18 producer Steve Crow have had from porndogs wanting to get hold of Anal Mana? A good hard 20?

Someone took it seriously, though. Jeez, if that guy in the piupiu is a porn star, I'm a starfish. EML is so the highlight of the week, what with summer programming getting underway and TV One pulling out British dramas starring Robson Green and Gary Kemp (ew!).

Another local show in a state of glorious tumescence is Shortland Street, which is about to send suds exploding all over the screen with the end of the evil Dom. I was under the impression the big bang was this week, that's the way the promos looked anyway, but we'll have to wait til next week for the body in the lake and the gas can in the shed. Such fun, and I was getting a bit tired of Maia making the pouty face over her dad's illness, so I'm glad that's over. You may already know about Streettalk – go now and vote for who you think will be tied up in the shed.

There was a brief flurry of media about the lack of local drama planned by TVNZ for next year, I hear National Radio's What's Going On covered it and Russell did an interesting interview on Mediawatch last week with the chair of NZ On Air, Don Hunn, in which he said that TVNZ was finding less of an appetite by viewers for long-running local series. In other words, they don't rate. However, it begs the question: If TVNZ wanted mini-series and short drama series instead of 20-parters, why hasn't it commissioned some?

The Screen Directors Guild and the Writers Guild both issued statements about the lack of drama, but neglected to put them online.

You can see recent funding decisions on the NZ On Air website, if you look back to June, the only grants for drama are for Outrageous Fortune ($5.3m for 13 one-hour eps) and Doves of War (additional funding of $450,000 for six one-hour eps). In both cases the broadcaster is TV3. In June, a production company called Colonial Encounters won $450,000 for a two-hour drama called No. 2, to be screened on TV2. That's it.

Tone magazine's December issue has a story about Sky's PVR, which will be launched next year. It's not online unfortunately, although here's another from Scoop. The box doubles as a decoder and a PVR, so viewers won't have to add another item to the rack – unlike, say, a TiVo unit. It's got 160GB hard disk, and contains two tuners, which seems to imply that you'll be able to record one digital channel while watching another, or record two at once. If you want to burn DVDs, you'd have to connect a DVD recorder.

There's another new TV blog in town: feel free to send your conspiracy theories, insider goss, grumps, groans etc to Reinventing TVNZ.

Patricia asks what I thought of Paul Henry on Intrepid Journeys:

I was most disappointed at his obsessing about himself all the time and his seemingly indifferent approach to the local people he encountered. He never gave any real information except complaint with a superior attitude. I have a real objection for this type of programming and promotion of so called 'celebs' by tax payers contributions.

I have for the most part, thoroughly enjoyed these programmes and the 'quirky' but very respectful approach the other presenters have taken – Peta Mathais the exception!

I think you said it all, Patricia; I got about 10 minutes in, couldn't stand the whining and quit. And really, if you knew you were going a journey where you needed to climb a mountain, wouldn't you try to get a little bit fitter before you left? Paul Henry puffing and panting: not pretty.

The Herald is reporting that a decision on the new Holmes show will be announced within two weeks: Susan Wood is the frontrunner and I think she's been running a reasonably lively show. She's prone to overdoing it a bit though, her Erebus over-emoting was gagworthy. I can't point you to the story, because it appears the Herald site has had a redesign and the search facility is gone. Bah.

I caught Colin Farrell on Letterman this week, the guy is a lunatic. The list for next week:
Monday the 29: Actress Natalie Portman; John Mayer
Tuesday Nov 30: Actress Jessica Biel
Wednesday Dec 1: George Clooney; Lance Armstrong
Thursday Dec 2: Guest TBA
Friday Dec 3: Actor Noah Wyle, musical guests Sum 41
Monday Dec 6: Tyra Banks; musical guest Lyle Lovett
Tuesday Dec 7: Racing star Alex Zanardi; comedian Kevin Nealon

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Drama? What drama? | Nov 10, 2004 22:46

I arrived fashionably late at TVNZ's launch of its 2005 season programmes, which is just a euphemism for a) I went to the wrong place first (note to self: read invitations before setting out); and b) parking about a mile away from the Maidment Theatre, where the launch was actually taking place.

I did arrive in time to see Matthew Ridge popping out the side door and a TVNZ lackey, afraid he'd do a runner – possibly from his debts – saying to a security guard, "Can you make sure Matthew doesn't go awol?"

They wheeled out a few celebs for the launch – who better to sell the new season to the agencies than The Domness himself – but frankly they would have needed the wattage of George Clooney to make what's passing for local programming next year seem even vaguely worth looking up from your cocoa.

Sure, there's a couple of things: major series Frontier of Dreams is a history of New Zealand, five years in the making, according to the publicity. But really, would you watch something called How Clean Is Your House? or Is It Safe to Eat?; the producers apparently so unsure of their programmes that they had to use a question for their titles.

And there's no polite way of saying this: where the f**k is the local drama? There was virtually none mentioned, just a kids' series called Holly's Heroes, and an Australian co-production called Last Man Standing that has, like, oh at least one Kiwi in it. Honourable mention goes to the new series of Mataku, but there was no mention on Tuesday of the reported Insiders Guide spin-off The Insiders Guide to Love.

Having canned Mercy Peak and decided against a second series of Serial Killers, shouldn't TVNZ have commissioned something new? Why isn't some of the extra Charter money being used for drama? TVNZ also has another $11 million to play with. What the f**k is going on?

The good news is that there are some big fun shows on the way: Desperate Housewives and Lost, which I mentioned in the previous blog; daft BBC series Hustle; the Denis Leary vehicle Rescue Me, which Entertainment Weekly just loves; and a couple of Aussie dramas, The Alice and Blackjack which looked good, but then they would on a showreel, wouldn't they? There's another Aussie drama from the producers of The Secret Life of Us called Love My Way.

But when Newsboy (btw, his and Paul Casserly's Unauthorised History of New Zealand is a wee bright light in all the murk) said on the showreel, "TVNZ's 2005 season; hopefully, it'll be all right," it didn't sound so ironic. Not for local producers anyway.

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Altered realities | Nov 04, 2004 11:03

There's a reality show in the Holmes resignation surely. What's the bet Julie Christie's been on the blower to Tony Holden at TVNZ pitching Presenter Idol: The Search for the New Holmes? "If it's a public vote, Tony, people can't complain!"

Or how about He'll Have to Do? because whatever you think of him, it's fair to say there's only one Paul Holmes, otherwise it would be easy to find a replacement (most likely male btw, hence the "He'll"). Obvious choice: John Campbell. He polarises people too, so no change there. He might have to stop swearing when he gets excited though.

But I'd like to put in an early suggestion for the new Holmes: Hugh Sundae. We already know he's good with old people – he used to talk to Noreen – and I'm sure he could brush up his skills with animals and children. He used to do pretty feisty interviews with Helen as well. Ralston: ring him now.

Through the magic of cyberspace I'd just like to point out that I wasn't actually a tongue-tied nong at the Great Blend event at the Grey Lynn Bowling Club last week, and in fact made several witty and interesting answers to the questions posed. It might not seem that way, but here's a quick rundown of what I actually said:

To the question from Ben: What does the panel think of the new 'podcasting' trend? My reply actually was: 'I thought it was an innovative form of fishing at first, but a tech-head friend informs me that it's perfect for him to download onto his iPod, but as far as blogging goes, it sounds like an awful lot of faffing around to me, which kind of defeats the purpose. But what would I know – I was wrong about pxt phones."

To the question from Robyn: Do you ever feel the need to write an entry to satisfy your readers, but can't find anything interesting to write about, so you end up making something up? What I actually said was, "It's all true, every word." [laughter]

To the question from the floor about balancing having something to say while not getting your head too far up your arse, my actual reply was, "Having a specialist subject helps, that way you can avoid talking about yourself entirely."

To the other question from the floor, from Judith Tizard, about writing about your family, what I actually said was, "I think you do have to be very careful and I don't refer to my kids by name – usually number one son and number two son – and occasionally to "the boyfriend". The funny thing is, the personal columns are the ones that people respond to – the challenge is to provide a kind of universality of experience without being too personal."

To the question which may or may not have been asked on the day (for argument's sake let's say it was) from Heather: How does one become a pundit anyway? What I actually said was: "Sleep with the right people." [laughter]

And to the rather lengthy question from Conor that referred to French philosopher Jacque Derrida and seemed to be about the power of bloggers to reinterpret meaning and redefine what is being said. My answer was, "No, I don't think so."

Meanwhile, in the fake world of Hollywood, good news everybody. There are signs that reality TV hasn't completely taken over. Entertainment Weekly has a rundown of five new "scripted dramas", as they're now being called (as opposed to "unscripted dramas" like Survivor and The Apprentice), which are don't-miss television. The first is Desperate Housewives, an über-Soap that stars Teri Hatcher among others and has gone to number one.

The others are the smart satire Arrested Development; a new teen drama called Veronica Mars, which apparently gives Buffy fans a new teen cult idol, although we'll have to see about that; a cop show called The Wire, ("the most demanding, intelligent hour on television right now" according to EW) which is about a bunch of cops in Baltimore on wire-tapping operations; and Lost, a new JJ Abrams production (the creator of Alias) which features a bunch of plane crash survivors on an island. It stars hobbit Dominic Monaghan as a has-been rock star with a drug habit and the fantastic Harold Perrineau who was in Oz and outshone Leonardo in Romeo + Juliet. He was also in the last Matrix movie, but let us never speak of that.

Here's a good Time story about how the various CSIs are really old-fashioned procedural cop shows after all.

The Letterman list is hardly worth mentioning, except maybe Chazz Palminteri appears on Tuesday.

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