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19 Questions* | Jun 09, 2009 12:13

What possible purpose could a Coroner's inquest do in the Bain case?

Was there some money left over from the trial or something?

Does the Bain trial prove re-runs can actually be very popular?

Will the rekindling of tensions in Korea mean a new series of M*A*S*H, or just more re-runs?

How happy must Richard Worth have been to hear the Bain jury had come back early?

How hard is it to find someone willing to f*** for a job these days?

If you had to: Tony Zappia or Richard Worth?

When will I get bored with my iPhone?

What am I supposed to do with Friday nights now that NZ's Next Top Model is over?

Is that the saddest question ever written?

Where's Winston?

How long and expansive is this new Mt Albert motorway that it seems to go through the front yard of every open home I visit?

Does anyone else think Melissa Lee sounds like a visiting rock star when she mentions how she hangs at St Lukes Mall, Kingsland cafes, Gribblehurst Park?

When said she expected to come second in Mt Albert, was she actually being optimistic?

How happy must Melissa Lee have been to have Richard Worth taking the heat for a change?

Finding it hard to stay scared about Swine Flu?

Everyone back to buying cage-reared bacon again?

Has Susan Boyle set a new lap record for Rags-Riches-Rehab?

When we get our new Supercity, can we make our new Knights guard the main gates?
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*Not in any way affiliated with 20 questions the game, or Metro's** '20 questions.'

**Metro is a very good magazine though, and you should buy it not least of all to read my interview with 'Green' Dean Williams, former RNZ and bFM environment presenter who is now doing interesting stuff in Cambodia.

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The Happy Hikoi | May 26, 2009 13:26

I went to the hikoi yesterday.

I don't have much to report really. I went down there lugging a video camera for my TV work, a mini-disc recorder for the radio show (there will be a piece on the hikoi this weekend), and my trusty Nikon just for fun – and for the blog of course.

Everyone I spoke to was friendly and happy to talk to me; I interviewed everyone from old white Remuera ladies and hippie types to police, patched gang members and veteran activists. Each gave me the time of day.

So I was surprised to turn on National Radio (sorry, radionewzealandnationalsoundslikeus) yesterday afternoon and hear one of the panellists say the following:

"Anyone who was there or had a look at it from a spectator point of view as I did would be a little bit terrified, because it looked to me more like a power grab, because it was certainly an in-your-face type march, these wasn't [sic] peaceful citizens, these were threatening people… and there were plenty of flags there but no New Zealand flags.

No surprise perhaps to find out that the panellist in question was NBR's Nevil Gibson, who I haven't heard much from before, but clearly isn't exactly breaking the mould of NBR's grumpy old white men. Having just been there, I couldn't understand how his experience could have been so different from mine.

By "threatening people", did he mean Maori? Did he mean Maori performing haka as they walked? By "these wasn't peaceful citizens", did he mean the sum total of zero people who were arrested? Or the people the police were referring to when they told me "no, we've had no problems, everyone's [all 7000 of them] been very well behaved."

And why did he expect the protestors to be waving the New Zealand flag?

Nevil Gibson then went on to argue the merits of global warming. I found another radio station to listen to and everyone, apart from grumpy old Nevil, was happy.

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Gossip, Music and Laughs | May 11, 2009 22:49

Play the audio for this post MP3, 3.3 MB

It wasn't a great surprise to read in the paper yesterday that Bridget Saunders' About Town will be no more. After pretty much inventing the gossip pages for this generation (Felicity Ferret was years ago now, and never had the pages of photos that the promo girls clamour over so), Saunders column has lacked any zest for quite a while, the pages reduced to barely disguised press releases and giveaways, and what seems like a constant series of updates direct from Charlotte Dawson.

I'm sure Bridget's trod on many toes over the years, often overstepping her mark and straying into areas she was if not unfit, then certainly not employed, to comment on – business, media, politics etc. But it wasn't until R Glaucoma came along that I realised Bridget at least gave things a vague hint of class. Gossip after all caters to our basest natures – it feeds and breeds on negative energy, sneering at our peers, laughing at others' misfortunes. So if she's been forced to close shop because her competition enjoys rolling in the mud more, she should take it as some kinda of moral victory. At least I think people will continue to give Bridget the time of day.

I don't think the same can be said for Glaucoma, who now seems to believe she actually has some kind of power; at least a couple of people I know say she's literally told them "you need me." Eech. The day that anyone who actually has a valid role in society (as opposed to wannabe promo girls and Friends of Seeby) needs an illiterate, nasty, waste-of-an-invite who seems happy to fabricate facts simply to fill space, is the day I provide the venue and the bubbly. If the Devil's greatest trick is convincing people that he doesn't exist, Rachel's is convincing anyone that she matters. She doesn't.

May's not the best month to be trying to take it easy on the drink –as I'm once again trying– if you're in my business. This month is not only New Zealand Music Month, but also the New Zealand International Comedy Festival, and the Readers and Writers Festival. Okay the latter is unlikely to be a piss-fest, but where there's a will…

Aside from the odd live cross on the telly, NZ Music Month probably doesn't have much of an influence on the life or drinking habits of the average Joe, but thanks to a career which is often low on income but always good on perks, I get to go to various functions. As Russell mentioned last week, the launch showcase event was at the start of May; ten bands or so performing to a bunch of industry types and fellow musos.

The new kids on the NZ Music block are Midnight Youth. I spoke to them last Saturday on the radio show, and they very kindly performed an acoustic version of their latest single. On the album it's one of the more commercial tracks, but listening to it live in the album it literally brought shivers to my spine. The singer Jeremy is quite a talent, and all the band seem like really decent guys – I hope they go far and all signs are they will – the album has debuted at #2. Bloody Ronan Keating.

The lads have kindly allowed me to make the acoustic version of the song available here for y'all to listen to. It's pretty rough and ready (it was recorded in an office off Khyber Pass Road and we just we shifted a microphone around to record the guitar…) but I hope you enjoy it – it was a pleasure hearing it live. I believe Midnight Youth are playing a few Wellington dates (Wed-Fri at the San Fran Bathhouse?) this week if you're keen.

It might be New Zealand Music Month, but for me the past week and a half has been all about the New Zealand International Comedy Festival. I've been to six events since the Thursday before last – the 5 star comedy preview, Ben Hurley, Steve Coogan, Glenn Wool (Canada), Cori Gonzalez and then a dozen comedians performing for charity last night. My humour muscles are fighting fit, and I'm addicted, planning to squeeze in a bit more.

Ironically, it was the comedian I was most looking forward to seeing that I least enjoyed. I don't want to sound ungrateful but with the gigs in the past I'm sure even the promoter won't mind me saying that the Steve Coogan show was a bit shite.

After the show, everyone I spoke to; comedians, reviewers, festival staff and punters alike agreed much of his humour was pretty broad, pretty basic, and felt like it was from a different era (and by his own admission, much was reasonably old material), where a man with fake tits making cock jokes was funny. I don't think Dame Edna would get many laughs at the today's Festival either. It was nice to tick off the "I've seen Alan Partridge" box though, and his encore (finally playing himself) was very funny – justifying his frequent tabloid appearances and bad press through the Monty Python-esque ditty: "Everyone's a bit of a C**t, sometimes."

The locals I've seen this year have been great – I haven't seen Michele A'Court on stage for a while, and she was in fine form last night; Cori's stand-up show (Promo Girls Aren't Models) is definitely one for those who prefer their comedy dry and deconstructed; and having caught small servings, I'm looking forward to seeing the full shows of locals Jesse Mulligan and Steve Wrigley (the latter in Wellington) this week, as well as Englishmen Mark Watson and Carey Marx if I have time. My standout favourite international so far is Glenn Wool – a bogan Canadian with great original riffs on drinking, drug use and divorce (here's some random YouTube footage). He's done in Auckland but playing in Wellington all week for those of you down there, just $25, and well worth it.

Okay. For those of you looking for politics, Mr Slack and I interviewed Labour's David Shearer on the radio last weekend, (podcast here), in the first of a series of interviews with the Mt Albert candidates. National's Melissa Lee should be on this coming Saturday.

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