In line with a concerted, if not somewhat patronising, attempt on my part to try and understand the minds of the average Right-Wing-Death-Beast I blundered willingly into the fray this past week. In an effort to find out if their bad behaviour in the online comments feature of various New Zealand blogs really was like watching a nightmare of unsolicited letters to the editor explode in devastating bundles of poorly formed sentences and circular arguments.
After a few tentative foray into bulletin boards in the mid-1990s I stayed well away from this sort of forum, on account of quickly realising it was much like trying to argue with drunk blokes in the pub, i.e. lots of piss and vinegar. But, to be more specific, it was a very particular type of pub ranter.
I’ve always been of the opinion you can pretty much peg someone when they’re a kid and guess how they’ll turn out. RWDB online are usually much like that annoying fat kid at intermediate, the one who’s sure he’s got the entire world well and truly sorted out (and of course it pivots on him), but if only someone would listen. On the other hand, conscientious Lefties are more often than not like the willowy goth kid at High School, the one who carries the world on his narrow, slightly hunched, angsty shoulders.
Anyway, based on my previous experiment, I figured that I would be pretty damn easy to pick a fight with the RWDB, and almost impossible to rile the Lefties. There’s no point getting into details, or pointing any fingers, but let me say this. While the ‘Lefties’ we all too happy to apologise for saying something inappropriate (say, in regard to the early claims that the London bombings were actually ‘power surges’ in an effort to do a cover-up), more often than not being even slightly questioned by people seems to push the average RWDB into a freaking frenzy.
Guys, let me say this. Where I come from, if you behaved like that in the pub, there would be no end of people willing to take you outside and help you calm down a little. More than willing. Maybe you should start to think of moderation as a survival instinct.
In their defence though, the types of stuff being spouted by some of these assholes is little different in content to some newspaper editors, such as this bloke over at The Australian doing his ‘nana in an effort to absolve the West of any responsibility for the attitudes of Islamic Extremists. Frankly, this type of ‘they just hate us because we’re great’ attitude reflects an ostriching of the head like no other.
When I wasn’t making a pratt of myself firing out comments to annoy RWDB this week I was stepping back and taking a look at the state of morality in ‘the West’. Let’s face facts. The only thing I possibly agree about with a leather-pants wearing fundamentalist like Brian Tamaki about is the decline of morality in New Zealand (as an example). Our society is currently more hedonistic, more morally relative, and more lax in its Judeo-Christian values than at any other time in our history.
The difference between me and Brian?
I kind of like it.
But going back to the bigger picture, there’s only one major difference between the message that Brian is peddling and message of the Islamic Extremists. Brian isn’t likely to disappear in an explosion of teeth whitener, mousse, and tan-in-a-can anytime soon. So Brian may well be a closed minded dickhead who’s loving his bringing it to his people from behind the banner of absolute morality, but I can’t see him actually condone killing anyone. Although, if history has taught one lesson again and again it’s that the ones who trumpet values and morality from the rooftops are usually the ones with something to hide. Time will tell.
So, while our lax morality may well peeve the Extremists, trying to blame the excesses of the West for the entire pantheon of Islamic fundamentalist movements is a little too solipsistic even for RWDB. Has anyone forgotten the number one issue in the Middle East since 1948? Has anyone forgotten that Al Qaeda had long demanded that the US remove its excesses from the sacred soil of Saudi Arabia?
Ignoring these issues in favour of a grand conflation of all Islamic movements into one great satan is simply ignorant.
Look, what it all seems to boil down to is that like all conservatives, RWDB are characteristically unwilling to even glimpse the possibility of change on their part. It is always someone else who has the problem, or someone else who is leading to the downfall of society, or someone else who needs to improve their act. And meanwhile, they wave their arms and scream and yell that everything would be better had someone listened to their narrow, aggro, petty points of view.
And my message? Get out of your jim-jams, and go talk to some real people, the fresh air will do you good.