Hey Farrar! Who are you calling a chick? Poor old Che must have nearly choked on his granola when he read on Kiwiblog this morning that "she" had written a message for Labour supporters in Tauranga and that "her" rationale was: "it's bye bye Whinny while helping the commies get back into power."
Subsequently standing corrected by Che, Mr Farrar asked - and not at all petulantly - why we didn't have pictures of ourselves upon this site. Well talk about sprung. A picture paints a thousand words. Read them and weep.
Russell Brown
Coy and somewhat timorous, Brown is something of a homebody, rarely venturing out of her Parnell apartment after dark. Nonetheless, she is one of the boldest and hardest working women in New Zealand's media. Her blogging is fearsomely prodigious. Most mornings she will, as David Cohen recently remarked, have produced a penetrating analysis of the events of the past 24 hours and their pertinence to the zeitgeist while most weary journalists are still hunched over their first Panadol and latte.
Damian Christie
… has been described as the Anna Nicole Smith of Te Atatu. The pneumatic Christie is no stranger to notoriety, appearing often in cryptic allusions in Bridget Saunders' columns. Often-married, she was the subject of a scandalous divorce in 1995, involving a rubber chicken suit and a sparrow sexer; a subject to which she frequently returns in her often lurid blogs.
Jolisa Gracewood
...is the most enigmatic of the Public Address bloggers. He was placed by the witness protection programme in deep cover in Connecticut as the East Coast's brainiest soccer mom, teaching writing at Yale and sharing a house with an astrophysicist and an astonishingly talented three year old. His former life as a Florida mob boss is never mentioned in his writing.
David Slack
… runs a haven for stray animals in Birkenhead where she has lived in seclusion since the acclaim that attended her Nobel Prize for Physics in 2002.
Fiona Rae
…is being tipped as the man to succeed Ralph Norris at Air New Zealand. One of only a few people to successfully make the transition from running a rural cartage company to the intensely political world of airline management, his insights into cattle-class management are widely considered to have been pivotal in achieving the national carrier's financial recovery. A frequent flyer, he blogs infrequently.
Che Tibby
... is quite literally the glamour model of the Public Address crew. Her winsome looks and towering frame, accented as it is by her exotic downy facial hair have made her the face of the new decade, capturing the innocence of Marc Ellis and the tortured longing of All Black captain Mandy Barker in that famous image as he looks on from the sinbin in the Rugby World Cup final.
Graham Reid
... is widely regarded as the woman who saved country music from itself. The title of Reid's latest album, "55-Holden Wheels On A Gravel Road," could very well describe her voice as well. Rich and crunchy and resonant, without sacrificing beauty or control, Graham at the microphone is clearly not of the Mariah Carey school of showboat vocal acrobatics. Her blogging is just as crunchy.
Tze Ming Mok
... is a Taihape shearer who has come only recently to blogging after a prolonged Kerouac-esque odyssey up and down the Australian eastern seaboard. Late last year he won a laptop with a wireless broadband connection in a poker game at the Maroochydore bowling club. He famously entered the blogging world when he miskeyed a Google search for "public bogs."
Keith Ng
... is a striking Swedish au pair who blogs from the Mexican consulate in Mumbai. She takes whatever opportunity she can to exercise her lithe limbs in the lavishly-appointed gymnasium. However the dual commitments of nannying for five demanding children and blogging on the nuances of the New Zealand election from such a far remove leave her feeling, she confesses, "so terribly tired. I wish mostly to be alone."